Fullness
Happy New Year! 2020 is upon us and I have been thinking about a word for the year. Here are my thoughts...
Have you ever felt empty? You know the feeling. Like the harmonies your stomach sings when you're ready for your next meal. Like the loneliness of a home after children have gone. Like the low feeling of being stuck or never being able to get up from the weight of hopelessness. Like the wall of impossibility that imposes itself right on time. Like heartless and cold words that cut like knives.
Every day it seems like there are endless opportunities before us that can be interpreted as another reason we are in lack, another reason we cannot, another reason we heard wrong, another reason to doubt, or another reason to give up.
I have found that this last decade has provided me with great hindsight to see that although I have felt empty, alone, disconnected, rejected, controlled, and not enough, there has been a constant truth, vision, and reality that has carried me through. His name is Jesus.
Each storm has been an invitation to rest in His perspective. Each battle has been an opportunity to recognize that victory is already my portion. Each confrontation has been a gracious growing moment for me to honor, to love, and to choose grace and forgiveness. Each change has been a chance for trust to build. Each risk has shown me that the One who promised is faithful and that although it may not look like it, feel like it, or seem like it, God is good.
In the times when I have felt empty are the exact moments in which I recognized I was truly full. In the occasions when I felt not enough, I felt the embrace of Holy Spirit reminding me that in Christ I am enough. When lies tried to sneak in, the truth was already inside. When I thought pain and scars were my only vision, Jesus showed me that His pain and scars are my vision, and that vision leads to peace and healing. My feelings of disconnection proved my connection in the Lord. My thoughts of rejection revealed my Father's celebration. My experiences of feeling controlled revealed that Jesus has empowered me with creativity and capability to make powerful choices with Him.
This list could go on for quite some time, but what I am trying to say is that over the last decade although I felt differently, didn't see it completely, or didn't understand it all the time, I was was always full. Full of hope even though I felt hopeless. Full of peace even though I gave into pain. Full of life even though I couldn't breathe. Full of joy even though I was shedding tears. Full of grace even though I hadn't forgiven myself. Full of the fullness, even though I thought I was empty.
Have you ever felt full? You know the feeling. Like the warmth you feel after a meal prepared in love. Like the secret handshake of best friends. Like the lightness of hope and the feather-weighted experience of dreaming with the Creator. Like the horizonless sunset of possibility. Like encouraging words that heal with cooling balm for the soul.
Every day it seems like there are endless opportunities before us that can be interpreted as another reason we are full, another reason we can, another reason we heard correctly, another reason to trust, or another reason to keep moving forward.
Beloved, there is a special grace on this year. I'm not saying there's significant meaning in the numerology of 2020 (although there probably is) or that I have a deep prophetic revelation about the things to come. All I know is that there's grace on this year because of what Christ has done and it's special because it's from Jesus.
That means that we can throw this grace to the side and continue to view things through our brokenness or we can receive this grace, every day, and look through the fullness of God.
"For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form and in Christ you have been brought to fullness." Colossians 2:9-10
And let me take this one step further. I have experienced a lot of really great things. Fullness was my focus for 2019 and I can honestly say I experienced fullness in many areas of my life. My wife finished her doctorate, we purchased our first home, we upgraded to a new car, we are doing well in a new city/state, we are experiencing health in our bodies, hearts, and minds, and we are seeing the Lord move powerfully.
And yet still, I want more.
Not out of selfishness. I want more because in Christ my promise is fullness. I want more because Jesus came to give it to me and all around me. I'm not simply writing about material items, although those are good and are blessings to bless others. I'm talking about the fullness of the Lord's love. I'm longing for the fullness of His promise in my life and the lives around me. I'm dreaming of not just good, not just great, but the best. I'm desiring more revival and more reformation. I'm living for wholeness in my life, my community, and this world.
Friends, I'm full and I want more fullness. I want to see every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. I want to see every person I pray for healed in Jesus' name. I want to see each person united in the loving sacrifice and resurrection power of the Lord. I want to see what God has promised and I'm not giving up on His word. I want to be filled with all the fullness of the measure of God with all of God's holy people knowing all of God's holy love (Eph. 3:19).
I'm full and I want the fullness. God's not done yet. The best is yet to come. Welcome to 2020, another year of fullness.
“I continue to dream and pray about a revival of holiness in our day that moves forth in mission and creates authentic community in which each person can be unleashed through the empowerment of the Spirit to fulfill God's creational intentions.” - John Wesley
